Change and Challenge and Moving on and Looking back and Making Decisions

Most of us are scared of change. It is a natural program mode of the human brain: Change on the horizon? Panic button! However, most change experienced leads us to challenge ourselves in ways we never imagined possible. Sometimes it means physically moving on. Sometimes it enables us to look back and reflect, process the actions taken and the lessons learned and make a spiritual change in our life. Mostly, change is frightening, in my humble opinion, because it means we have to make decisions.
I Feel Like a Grown-Up. I like this phrase. I use this phrase when I feel the strength of independent, solid decision making. But this phrase also reminds me of how complicated life continues to be as we grow up and lead independent lives, and how often, even as adults, we long for the protection of our parents.
The first few years living in Rio I didn't have a car. I used public transportation, walked or hitched rides with friends. The first months after buying my car, I often said, "I feel like such a grown-up." Independent, self-sufficient, self-reliant. There was victory in navigating the roads, the toll booths, the police blitz, and the car inspection in Portuguese. There was a sense of accomplishment in understanding the mechanic when the battery had to be replaced and the tires pumped up a little. It made me feel like a grown-up.
I'm facing a major change in my life. There's a lot going on. And although I enjoy the sense of accomplishment over those things which I tackle on my own, there is a part of me that uses the phrase I feel like a grown-up because what I'm really craving is the safe, secure protection of being a child, of being taken care of, instead of caring for the situation on my own.
Why is change so scary? Especially as an adult? Perhaps it is because if we make the "wrong" choice and move toward change in a direction that brings negative consequences we accept the ownership of the decision making process. There's no one to fall back on but ourselves--of course that's scary. I don't know anyone who LIKES to fail.
But what if we look at change first through the lense of success and opportunity? How would that alter our perspective? Continuing on the same path, on the surface, appears to be easier than facing change. It's certainly easier to accept our life's routine as is. It's comfortable to continue in the direction we have been going. You know it's that famous saying, "It's ALWAYS been done that way." Nobody really knows if "that way" is the best. What happens when somebody else suddenly sends us in another direction? What happens if we are sent in that direction when we happen to feel the most empowered we've ever felt? Couldn't we begin to view change as an opportunity rather than a burden? Might we find ourselves actually thanking the change agent for the chance to make a shift?
That is where I find myself now. Forced to make a change. Forced to change direction in my routine. A little bit nervous, but not scared. I feel invigorated. I know what I have to offer. I know what I know. I know there exists many things which I don't know and even more that I don't know I don't know. What a privilege to be able to learn more. What an opportunity to look outside of what has been and think: I can totally make a change!
That must be where the element of looking back comes into play. If we don't take the time to reflect on what brought us to where we are, to who we have become, how are we supposed to navigate in which direction we are supposed to continue living?
Wide open opportunity is scary. Limitless possibility is daunting. Who knows where to begin in making major, life-changing decisions? Who has the confidence to trust the inner voice? How many people get the chance to start again?
The beauty of it all...I do!