Stream of Consciousness

I was thinking today, I know I think every day, but today was different. I was thinking today about this writing activity called stream of consciousness. I used to engage in this daily when I had more time in the day and actually spent hours writing. Somehow life took over and they (whoever they is, probably friends of Pete, for Pete's sake) shortened the day on me. I know it still contains 24 hours, but I know somewhere, someone altered what defines 24 hours because it sure doesn't feel like the same 24 hours as when I was 10 or 15 or even 25...these days it feels more like 15 hours per day. At this rate, I'm a bit concerned how I'll get a full day of work in when I'm 55. Anyway, stream of consciousness is essentially what I'm doing now, writing whatever is on my mind and jumping from one topic or explanation to another with very little or no transition.

It's a type of mental dumping. It allows a person to clear the mind and put on paper (in this case computer) whatever might be taking up valuable brain space--I truly believe I personally have a limited amount of brain space at least I feel that way many days, again this surfaces more often the older I get.

Sierra and her friend are now beating each other with an inflatable bat. Why does my mom radar make my face and ears instantly hot when I hear the hyperactivity of children at play in my house. Why do I automatically assume that something is going to break at any second or one of the children is going to scream in pain. Neither of these have happened recently, yet I literally felt my ears turn red just now knowing the girls are in the living room swinging this gigantic bat at each other within inches of lamps, pictures hung on the wall, decorative pieces--fragile decorative pieces. My blood pressure is starting to relax, thankfully. Because the only sound that remains is that of Pirates of the Caribbean playing on the TV. I'm REALLY thankful it's not High School Musical for the 1,568th time since January.

I look at the date and I can't believe it is all ready almost May 2007. At this time last year, I was attempting to liquidate the contents of my house in MN and prepare for this move that now finds us in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. At that time, I thought it would never come. Now, I can't believe we've called this place home for 9 months! Not to mention that my 12th year as an educator is coming to an end. The pace of life was nice and slow and relaxed when we first arrived. Somehow, through adding activities and making friends, we have managed to shift gears, and we are starting to feel the pace of life increasing. Time to stop, breathe, relax and coast a bit.

The next 2 months are going to be insanely busy. I decided to take a quick trip back to the states in May in order to walk in my commencement ceremony at Hamline with my colleagues and friends. A year ago, I didn't think it would matter, but in the end, it really does. A lot of sweat and tears (and brain space and money) went into earning my MAEd. I owe it to myself to celebrate with the women who endured the journey along side me. I am looking forward to the trip and the celebration and seeing my parents. I miss them. It's funny how we take for granted what is so near until those things/people we hold dear are no longer right beside us, and arm's reach away. For 5 years, I lived 15 miles from my parents. Not a week went by that I didn't see one or both of them. It was fabulous to have Sierra so close to her grandparents and watch as she built a relationship with each of them. Now, we are in another hemisphere and although Internet makes communication possible and web cams aid our "seeing" them, I miss them and look forward to the first hug at our reunion.

The weekend is here (a 3 day weekend to boot), I brought no work home--although I have plenty. I plan to enjoy the beautiful weather that envelops me, sleep late, soak in the sun and ocean air, appreciate our Rio "family" and laugh with my daughter and my best friend.

The head is clear. I feel great.