Chasing the Rainbow (Part 3)

Passion. Integrity. Perspective. Humility

Perspective.

I have stared at this picture for 15 minutes straight. I see a young woman, looking away. Some people see an elderly lady when they look at this picture. Am I wrong in thinking it’s a young woman? Are others wrong for thinking it’s an old lady? Is it possible that it is both, at the same time?

How many arguments have you had in your life that revolved around perspective? How many hours have you spent of your (insert age) years trying to convince another person to “see it your way”? I know I have spent countless.

In my younger years, I would get frustrated and often angry when I was unsuccessful in getting the other person to see things my way. Then, somewhere along the lines, I grew up a little—only a little because I continue to grow even though I’m pushin 40! What I realize is that it’s ok if another person doesn’t see my same reality or if I don’t understand hers. However, it’s NOT ok if I fail to recognize that the other reality exists, I don’t have to understand or agree with it. That’s where my thoughts about perspective become crucial.

If you combine passion and integrity with perspective, it is imperative to recognize the emotional element, and emotion forces us to respond/react to a situation instead of think about the the parts of the situation. Passion risks emotional drive, yet integrity pulls that emotion back to the bigger picture where perspective plays a part.

Take for example the film I Heart Huckabees.

The main character goes to an existential counselor for intervention. In his initial consultation, Lily Tomlin’s character says, “My associate will look at your case from a different angle.” He asks, “What angle?” And Tomlin replies, “He will investigate your perception of reality.”

The film goes on to demonstrate how reality and perception influence our actions, our existence. A couple of the characters end up pretty messed up…check out the film. In the end, it’s what I believe to be essential to our interdependence.

We crave being understood. We seek to understand others and our existence and what it all means. Sometimes we search self-awareness through others, seems oxymoronic in some ways.

The bottom line: if we let go of our egos, believe that those around us do not intentionally do things to hurt us, look for understanding in where the other comes from, discourse and interaction will never go wrong. It doesn’t mean we always agree. It means we give up having to be “right” or finding the "wrong". It means we develop compassion and empathy.

Although I have tried, I still don’t see the old lady. Does that mean she doesn’t exist? No, it means I must remain open to understanding that someone else sees her. That someone else could maybe point her out for me, help me to see something in a new way and grow.

Chasing the Rainbow (Part 2)

Passion. Integrity. Perspective. Humility.

Integrity.

Synonyms for integrity include: honesty, truth, and principle. In my mind reliability and veracity are most similar to integrity. I honor my integrity. Is that redundant? I don’t think so because what it means is that being reliable and veracious are essential. I look for this in others and am conscious of reflecting this in my personal actions.

What does the woman on the street think it means to have integrity?

The right thing is not always the easy thing. In fact, the right thing is almost always the harder of the choices we make. But if we make a pledge to live our life with integrity, then it means making tough calls and hard decisions. Sometimes the right thing is relatively simple (not to be mistaken for easy). For example, when the cashier gives you back too much change at the supermarket. Do you walk away happy for her error? Or, do you correct her and keep only the change owed?

Sometimes the right thing is incredibly complex; like sticking up to the bully on the playground or confronting a friend about his cheating on a test.



Having integrity gets lonely. Two things play into this feeling of loneliness; 1) people love to gossip; stories get scewed and rumors fly because people have varying perspectives (I plan to talk about perspective in the next segment of this series, "Chasing the Rainbow"); and, 2) it’s hard for people to accept when they have made a mistake without getting angry or offended (remember how having integrity is often the hard choice?). I accept that loneliness, however. I want to be able to Look at myself in the mirror. If I am doing what shows integrity, I can face the naysayers and still enjoy my reflection.

Having integrity means helping people. This is pretty much what I was talking about when I wrote Enough in November of 2011 .  Seriously think about the world IF everybody does the right thing, if everybody helps one another, if everybody gives. Give of yourself, your time, your knowledge, your talents, your shoulder, your smile, your company. To think Anne Frank, at 14-years-old has this figured out 70+ years ago is pretty amazing. (*Anne's essay "Give" is in the last tab of this online exhibit. Listen to it. It will make you think.)

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to come across as self-righteous, but I do believe integrity is about righteousness. It’s about doing the right thing and standing up for what is right. Sometimes it means going against the pack or being the odd-man-out.

How about when no one is watching?

Integrity is my word. It's knowing that what I say is what I mean, what I claim is what I believe, what I demonstrate  is what I expect from others.

I want to live a life of integrity.

-Part 3 of this series , Perspective, to come...soon...

Chasing the Rainbow (Part 1)

Passion. Integrity. Perspective. Humility.

The four core elements of who I am. Most of us spend our entire life chasing the proverbial rainbow. Running after romance, dedicating countless hours to earning a degree, peddling uphill after the position of our dreams, sustaining a system for happiness. There are moments when each goal is within our grasp and moments when each is just beyond our fingertips. What helps one to hold on or to climb that final stair depends on what lies in the foundation of each one of us. I am chasing my own rainbow. Right now the pot-of-gold is just beyond my fingertips, and I am digging deep to reach it.

MY life’s journey has led me to this point. I can feel it. I know it. Everything I have done and everything that I am has prepared me for exactly where I am today. The only thing I am surer of is my unwavering love for my daughter, so the fact that the pot-of-gold is so close yet so far has me thinking and reflecting while I am forced to wait.

My friend Diane advised me, "Identify the four things that are your core. The elements you bring with you every day, to every situation you face." It was good advice. I will use this advice to help me process while climbing. Here’s the first of a four part series I’ll call “Chasing the Rainbow”:

PASSION.

How do you define passion? Maybe you define it like the Man on the Street . Maybe sex, like several of the people caught off-guard in this video, comes to mind first when you hear PASSION. Or maybe God is what you think about—The Passion of Christ. Maybe it’s a sport. Living in Brazil, I sure have observed lots of passion for soccer.

Passion is what drives me. I'm not a perfectionist by any definition, but I want to be perfect in what I do. In approach. In effort. In energy I exert. I am passionate. If I cannot give 110% to a task, the task is not mine to perform. It's a great trait for the type A personality, which I am not by any means, because it fosters the need to line up the ducks.

However, Passion, for me, is about caring. About resisting apathy. About understanding that all we do has a result, which creates another situation, which in turn creates a result, and in turn…you get it. It’s what makes this world continue spinning.

Passion implores me to ask, “Why?” It implores me to assess how everything fits together to form the big picture. It pushes me to greatness and perfection. It prevents me from settling on OK and pushes me to Great! Passion pushes. It inspires. It begs to be imitated.

Look what Roger Bannister's passion encouraged him to do:

And what Passion encouraged 37 people to do the year following this race.

I want to be GREAT!